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Trans Ladies – Love and Sex

We write a lot about trans porn and how it has changed over the years and became more mainstream and relevant. Of course, TS Snapchat usernames are there to share amazing content and get the fans excited about new productions. But this time we want to take a slightly different approach. 

We want to talk about who are the ladies after the cameras are off, what it is like to live as a trans woman. How difficult it is to find true love and what place sex has in their lives. So, let’s start.

Then and now

It was hard for a long time to live your truth like a trans woman. A lot of judgment from society and even more from the inside because it was hard for these women to accept themselves because society and their loved ones simply wouldn’t. 

There are many factors that contributed to the change, but one of the biggest in recent times is Caitlyn Jenner coming out as it brought everything to the front pages and made the issue that much more important. The trans community is incredibly diverse. Some trans people identify as trans men or trans women, while others may describe themselves as non-binary, genderqueer, gender non-conforming, agender, bigender or other identities that reflect their personal experience. Some take hormones or have surgery as part of their transition, while others may change their pronouns or appearance.

How we see ourselves matters as it is how we want others to see and accept us. This is no different for trans ladies. They see themselves as gorgeous women and the only thing they want is for others to see them in the same way, without a but or actually anywhere in the vicinity. Hopefully, our society will get there eventually. Most developed countries have made great strides when it comes to this. 

The challenges

There had never been a more visible time to be a transgender woman in the United States, but the visibility was mostly focused on the storylines of a privileged few. Glamorous Jenner, with her expensive stylists and a reality show documenting her transition. Bodacious Laverne Cox an actress who posed on red carpets in designer gowns. But for those who can’t afford all of this, it is still a struggle. Expensive surgeries, hormone therapy and never quite achieving the look they actually want.

According to HRC – “Trans people face a legal system that often does not protect us from discrimination based on our gender identity. Despite a recent U.S. Supreme Court decision that makes it clear that trans people are legally protected from discrimination in the workplace, there is still no comprehensive federal non-discrimination law that includes gender identity - which means trans people may still lack recourse if we face discrimination when we’re seeking housing or dining in a restaurant.”

The change is coming but is it fast enough...

Now, what about love

This is a very sensitive topic for a lot of trans women. They are still marginalized when it comes to finding a partner and true love is not easy. First of all, most want to date them out of curiosity, especially if they haven’t transitioned fully yet. It is fun to explore your sexuality, but not to be seen in public. This is not something a trans lady wants. She wants to be loved, wine and dined, and married with a family.

Sadly, this change might take longer to happen. Sure, the legislation changes, and the social acceptance increases but, in reality, what is it that stops men from starting a quality, open relationship with trans women? We, fear and insecurity. They think that their own sexuality will be judged if they date a trans lady. 

In most cases the defense is – I am not gay – and no they are not, they are dating a woman, not a man. But that is something that is still hard to comprehend. Hopefully, this too will change, and we will begin to see more and more open couples with one partner being a trans woman. According to the trans pornstar Morgan Bailey – “When you start living authentically as yourself, you're transitioning. I think everyone is transitioning in life, trans or non-trans. Trans people just wear it. You see it. Everyone knows your secrets by looking at you. I think a lot of trans girls get into porn because they want acceptance from the rest of the world. I think it's harder to be trans than it is to be in porn. I'm 6-foot-4 and people really are rude to me. But I don't feel like a victim. I don't feel like I have to hide and I'm certainly not ashamed of who I am.”

On the other hand, TS Foxxy has the following impression to share – “Sadly it shouldn't have taken Caitlyn Jenner to make a difference for anybody, because there are plenty of transgender women who have done many positive things for us and our community. But because she's a celeb and she came out, it became a big media thing. We've become strong women on our own before Caitlyn came out. I'm just happy that it's finally happened. Gays and lesbians are being accepted, now it's our turn.”

And we couldn’t agree more, we want to see these ladies succeed and thrive in their own right flaunting their beauty. Both in mainstream porn and mainstream media. They are gorgeous and talented, and they should be given a far greater platform.

And when it comes to love and sex these ladies deserve to have both without anyone questioning their gender or preference, but rather focusing on them as amazing individuals that they truly are.